"When I recall my past, I realize that I have a history of making prompt decisions when it comes to girls, either being friend with her or fall for her. I have always fallen in love with them without measuring potential risks and outcomes.
It's just because it's been my tendency to assume that everyone I meet is emotionally and mentally capable of giving their best rather than seeing and assessing what's best in them. I have fallen in love more than I can count not for the girl herself but on my assumption of her giving her best in the relationship. At the same time, I have hung on to certain relations for a long time, sometimes far too long, waiting for her to ascend to her own greatness. Many a times I have been a victim of my own optimism when it comes to relations with girls.
But finally I realized that no matter what you do, how you look like, most of the girls you will meet wont be worth it. Its not that they are bad, but its just that they have their own priorities, their own decisions, their own favorites due to which they wither ignore you or keep you as a back up option which is quite obvious. They might talk to you as if they know you for years, discuss their life, your life and even call you one of their best friends. But after a time, things changes and the long hour talks are reduced to minutes and then silence. That is when one should realize if hanging onto the relation is fruitful or not. I, in the past, have taken wrong decision, most of time at this moment, hanging onto them and finally getting hurt.
Though I repeated such instances on a constant basis but finally I can say that I have learned from my past. Though it was hard to change from a desperate guy, looking for attention from female community, trying to make an impression on them (a good one which usually ended up as a bad one). My decisions have become more mature, clear, and thoughtful than they used to be couple of years ago. I am still in the learning phase as everyone is different and who knows one odd day you might face a new and different scenario altogether."
How ironical it is that we get up and motivate ourself when we don't meet our expectations, but go crazy, depressed and angry when others don’t meet our expectations.
And at times, when they do meet our expectations, we don’t feel much happier and the usual term used is, “I expected it that way!”. How simple and beautiful like would be if we could just stop expecting things and save ourselves from the suffering and unhappiness.
Why do we expect? This is one important question, one should be able to answer to avoid expecting and getting hurt over and over again. The answer is quite simple, we expect because we believe that people will do what they say they will do - We expect people to keep their word.
Now, instead of writing about why we expect and other shit things about expectations, I will directly come to the point on how we can control our expectations and live much more happily.
- Know what you want.
- Accept yourself as you are.
- Be specific with your objectives, what you want from people and your life. In short, set your priorities straight.
- Directly ask the person you are expecting from about what you want and make sure that you get the answer in either ‘YES’ or ‘NO’.
- Develop the art of reading feelings, both self and of others. It helps us to decide or find what we actually need and will we get that or not.
I don’t know if these things will help you or not; no one can but all we can do is give it a try. At-least is is better than sitting and wasting any more of your time waiting, hoping, and expecting. I am trying this and it is helping me. So there is a chance that it might help you too. J
Be happy, keep smiling and stop expecting.