"When I recall my past, I realize that I have a history of making prompt decisions when it comes to girls, either being friend with her or fall for her. I have always fallen in love with them without measuring potential risks and outcomes.
It's just because it's been my tendency to assume that everyone I meet is emotionally and mentally capable of giving their best rather than seeing and assessing what's best in them. I have fallen in love more than I can count not for the girl herself but on my assumption of her giving her best in the relationship. At the same time, I have hung on to certain relations for a long time, sometimes far too long, waiting for her to ascend to her own greatness. Many a times I have been a victim of my own optimism when it comes to relations with girls.
But finally I realized that no matter what you do, how you look like, most of the girls you will meet wont be worth it. Its not that they are bad, but its just that they have their own priorities, their own decisions, their own favorites due to which they wither ignore you or keep you as a back up option which is quite obvious. They might talk to you as if they know you for years, discuss their life, your life and even call you one of their best friends. But after a time, things changes and the long hour talks are reduced to minutes and then silence. That is when one should realize if hanging onto the relation is fruitful or not. I, in the past, have taken wrong decision, most of time at this moment, hanging onto them and finally getting hurt.
Though I repeated such instances on a constant basis but finally I can say that I have learned from my past. Though it was hard to change from a desperate guy, looking for attention from female community, trying to make an impression on them (a good one which usually ended up as a bad one). My decisions have become more mature, clear, and thoughtful than they used to be couple of years ago. I am still in the learning phase as everyone is different and who knows one odd day you might face a new and different scenario altogether."
How ironical it is that we get up and motivate ourself when we don't meet our expectations, but go crazy, depressed and angry when others don’t meet our expectations.
And at times, when they do meet our expectations, we don’t feel much happier and the usual term used is, “I expected it that way!”. How simple and beautiful like would be if we could just stop expecting things and save ourselves from the suffering and unhappiness.
Why do we expect? This is one important question, one should be able to answer to avoid expecting and getting hurt over and over again. The answer is quite simple, we expect because we believe that people will do what they say they will do - We expect people to keep their word.
Now, instead of writing about why we expect and other shit things about expectations, I will directly come to the point on how we can control our expectations and live much more happily.
- Know what you want.
- Accept yourself as you are.
- Be specific with your objectives, what you want from people and your life. In short, set your priorities straight.
- Directly ask the person you are expecting from about what you want and make sure that you get the answer in either ‘YES’ or ‘NO’.
- Develop the art of reading feelings, both self and of others. It helps us to decide or find what we actually need and will we get that or not.
I don’t know if these things will help you or not; no one can but all we can do is give it a try. At-least is is better than sitting and wasting any more of your time waiting, hoping, and expecting. I am trying this and it is helping me. So there is a chance that it might help you too. J
Be happy, keep smiling and stop expecting.
July 5, 2013
I didn’t expected this day to come over or at least any day sooner but as we all know, life is full of surprises and shocks. I have finally decided to quit writing in the future and this will be my last attempt at it, as of now and I hope I will make this last one count.
It’s been 23 years (will be 23 this month), I’ve been in this world and the journey has been no less than a roller coaster ride. Well, I won’t be writing down all that history here but would like to mention my journey for last one year.
It’s been a year since I came in the literature fraternity, as a reader of course and very soon became an integral part of it. My journey took a beautiful turn when I turned into a publisher. Ina field where everyone dreams to be an author, I took an extra step and risk and started a publishing venture. It was a dream come true, standing at a place where people look up to you. But as I came up in this journey, I learned that there are more people who want you to fail compared to those who appreciate your success. I got over them and everyone else who didn’t like me because I just can’t please everyone.
During this time, I met some people, to be exact some wonderful, beautiful and exquisite people who held my hand, listened to me and talked to me all this while. It was them who helped me took important decisions and made me what I am today. I won’t be writing any specific names because unknowingly I may miss few names and this will be become more of a controversial post for me. I was in a relationship for a short span of time which gave me numerous beautiful memories and I don’t regret a moment but unluckily I had to let it go.
Coming back to the present, I am quite happy yet not satisfied with my life. It seems like something is missing; something important. I am still trying to figure it out that what’s lacking that could make my life perfect. But that’s the point I think; you need to have something missing in your life for which you crave, you fight day and night just to have it. Or else we won’t realize the worth living.
For now, I have decided to quit writing for undecided span as I too am not sure when will I be back; will I be back or not. So this is it from my side.
#Thanks #AuRevoir #Aloha #AloneYetAlive
"The only thing that I did wrong was to do everything that you ever asked for. I just wished that you could have done the same for me."
It happens to people, at times, when they grow up & meet new people; you start to understand things the way they are. And eventually you realize that people you've known forever don't see the things the way you do, nor they try to see it or understand it. All you are left with is the option of keeping the beautiful memories and move on in life.
It's then you understand the true meaning of Life. The lessons taught to us from time to time. There are things in life that we don't want to happen but in the end those things happen and we have to accept them. There are things we do not want to know about but we end up learning them and one of the most important lesson that is taught to us is there are people in our lives we can't live without but eventually we have to let go of them.
Sometimes you just have to remind yourself that it will all be okay, maybe not now, maybe not tomorrow, but one day. You will have to remind yourself of the fact that the things and people around you have changed and you are left with no option other than letting go and move on. Yes, its going to be a hard decision and you're gonna
feel alone, lonely, in pain, hurt but just hold on to it for a while because that's what is good for you and who knows tomorrow might turn out to be the bestest
day of your life?#AloneYetAlive
One popular saying that’s always struck me as particularly stupid and harmful is, “People don’t change.” Although everyone has ingrained personality traits, we aren't held captive by them. Believing that we can’t encourage ourselves to accept our weaknesses. How many people with substance problems claim they aren't capable of stopping? It’s much easier to continue a harmful behavior when responsibility is placed on an outside force like genetics or an “addictive personality”.
Saying people can’t change is the same as saying people can’t learn.When you learn something new that knowledge fundamentally changes you. Each piece of information adds to your personal database, creating additional resources to draw on when interacting with the outside world. We face the same temptations to engage in negative behavior, but we also build a body of experience that tells us the reward isn't worth the penalty.
In a sense we’re always changing and always staying the same. When I compare my self of today with my self from a few years ago, I observe that I’m the same but more. I’m the same in how I think and process information but experience has changed the way I interpret everything. Every day adds a new layer of character.
"We should anticipate aging with optimism rather than dread. As we grow old the beauty steals inward (Emerson)."
The saying “people don’t change” is harmful because it denies the possibility of redemption. There is something profound about the redeemed. The man who’s experienced the lowest rung of existence and conquered his personal demons has an empathy that’s lacking in more saintly people. In a society supposedly built on the doctrine of forgiveness, it’s remarkable how eager we are to label people as permanent degenerates. Circumstances and hardship leads many good people to do foolish things. To say those mistakes are irredeemable is hypocritical. If the world considered only your most depraved moments, how would you be judged?
People do change. We make every decision for the first time with no obligation to the past. If we control anything, we control our own thoughts and behavior. If can improve anything, it should be ourselves.
Some people have it all. They’re talented, motivated, and know exactly what they want out of life. These folks want success so badly they can taste it, and their behavior reflects that drive. And yet, even though they have so much promise and so much to offer, this fairy tale doesn't always have a happy ending.
I’m sure you know people who fit the bill. Every step they take is measured against how they’ll benefit personally; everything they do has a quid pro quo; and every conversation they have is steered to their favorite topic — themselves.
You can rest assured that when they call, it’s because they want something from you; they use people as pawns to get what they want; they feel no compunction about being the first to take, then leaving the scraps for everyone else; they bully others to get more for themselves. Sharing? Giving? Playing fair? Not even on their radar.
In the short term, their charisma, talent, and drive earn them BIG kudos. Long term, they’re disastrous. Their confidence is perceived as arrogance; their go-netter personality comes across as pushy; and their ambition is viewed as uncontrollable. The result is that their ruthless behavior causes them to forfeit the things they want most in life. Fortunately, it doesn't have to be this way.
One of the most important lessons I've learned is that people who care about the needs of others and give of themselves go much further in life. “Are you kidding?” may be what you’re thinking. “That’s the most important lesson?”
Yes. Some people may believe that this philosophy is simplistic, naive, sappy, pie-in-the-sky, while others consider that it’s only a nicety. You may be thinking, “While that sounds great in theory, it doesn't work in the real world.” The assumption people make is that you have to be ruthless to win. I’m here to tell you they’re dead wrong.
Would you consider an egotist to be your role model? Would you choose a self-centered person as a good friend? Would you form a partnership with a greedy person? Would you recruit a selfish person for your team? Would you marry and spend your lifetime with a greedy person? I thought not.
It really doesn't take much effort to show others that you care. For example, treat them with dignity and respect; “make someone’s day” with a few kind words; provide encouragement; show concern; spend quality time; listen with interest; share half; put their needs before your own; reach out to someone in need; share your wisdom and experience; pay them a compliment; teach them how to fish for a lifetime; thank someone for an effort well done; ask for or share an honest opinion; show gratitude; remember a special event; instill a strong set of values; provide encouragement.
Remember . . . give because you want to, not because you must. That way, it’s from your heart. Believe me, it will come back to you in ways you’d never imagine — but don’t give because you’re expecting something in return.
Some people may look at you cross-eyed after you make a kind gesture. “C’mon,” they’ll think, “why are you really doing this? No one does something for nothing.” Then, when they realize there’s no catch, something magical will happen. You’ll be viewed in an entirely new light.
Just think how far your kindness will go toward building trust, strengthening your relationships, developing teamwork and camaraderie, enhancing your reputation and sense of self-worth — not to mention, adding to your karma.