Aman  Sharma
 
One popular saying that’s always struck me as particularly stupid and harmful is, “People don’t change.” Although everyone has ingrained personality traits, we aren't held captive by them. Believing that we can’t encourage ourselves to accept our weaknesses. How many people with substance problems claim they aren't capable of stopping? It’s much easier to continue a harmful behavior when responsibility is placed on an outside force like genetics or an “addictive personality”.

Saying people can’t change is the same as saying people can’t learn.When you learn something new that knowledge fundamentally changes you. Each piece of information adds to your personal database, creating additional resources to draw on when interacting with the outside world. We face the same temptations to engage in negative behavior, but we also build a body of experience that tells us the reward isn't worth the penalty.

In a sense we’re always changing and always staying the same. When I compare my self of today with my self from a few years ago, I observe that I’m the same but more. I’m the same in how I think and process information but experience has changed the way I interpret everything. Every day adds a new layer of character. 

"We should anticipate aging with optimism rather than dread. As we grow old the beauty steals inward (Emerson)."

The saying “people don’t change” is harmful because it denies the possibility of redemption. There is something profound about the redeemed. The man who’s experienced the lowest rung of existence and conquered his personal demons has an empathy that’s lacking in more saintly people. In a society supposedly built on the doctrine of forgiveness, it’s remarkable how eager we are to label people as permanent degenerates. Circumstances and hardship leads many good people to do foolish things. To say those mistakes are irredeemable is hypocritical. If the world considered only your most depraved moments, how would you be judged?

People do change. We make every decision for the first time with no obligation to the past. If we control anything, we control our own thoughts and behavior. If can improve anything, it should be ourselves.

 
 
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‘Opportunities knocks at all doors but only few of us have the courage to open it, welcome it and then revolutionize our lives.” The question that arises first in mind is why we regret change? It’s because we are so busy in comfort zone. It is because how change might change course of our life for which we aren't prepared. Is it because we are lazy or are we just boring? Actually it is a bit of everything.

Surprisingly most existing thing in our life is change. It is that constant force that let us live; not just exist. But it is the fear factor that torpedoes every time. Fear of failure, fear of unknown, fear of what others will say, fear of whether it will be worst than present or fear of shaking our lives. Unless we get rid of fear, we can’t be a catalyst to change.


We stick to our daily job due to fear. We do not fall in love although we love someone due to fear of unknown and failure. We are afraid that what will happen with us if we say our feelings. We do not do anything because the risk is too much.  But it’s the risk that changes the way we look life. When we take risk, there is new energy, new light in our eyes, new surge of confidence, new smile on our face and a new song in our heart. All of these work as neutralizer for fear factor.


Failure is the first step to success, a discovery. And when we take this step, we have to tell ourselves that world won’t end if we fail and new windows will open with new opportunities. There is no one on earth who hasn't failed. Students in exams, scientists in experiments e.t.c. All achievers have failed before succeeding. Thomas Edison was told that he failed 100 times before inventing a bulb. He calmly replied that he didn't failed. Actually it took him 100 steps to make a light bulb.


If we have same kind of attitude we will never fail. Those who want to experience change must be prepared to live with some amount of loneliness. If you fail there won’t be anyone around you but if you succeed others will surround you…



-Aman Sharma